The Writer's Book of Doubt by Aidan Doyle

Author:Aidan Doyle [Doyle, Aidan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ate Bit Bear

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING KIND

People will forget what you said or what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

- Maya Angelou

* * *

You should be kind to other people, even if it’s only for selfish reasons. It’s one of the best ways to feel good about yourself. It helps strengthen your friendships. If you are kind to people, they’re more likely to help you when you need it.

Being kind to other people doesn’t mean you have to tolerate hateful people. You don’t to agree with everyone’s point of view or make time for everyone. Block and mute people on social media if they annoy you.

When you have the chance, help people. Especially if you’re in a position of power. Look for opportunities to mentor other writers. Mention market opportunities to others. One of the best ways you can help people is by connecting other writers. If you’re at a convention, introduce different groups of friends to each other.

Make sure people actually want your help though. Too many books on happiness come across as patronizing when they recommend helping old people and disabled people. Not everyone wants your help.

Avoid patronizing compliments. Don’t tell disabled people you’ve just met that you think they’re brave.

If you’re white, learn to recognize the white savior complex. Don’t assume foreigners are worse off than people in your country.

Deriving Moral Superiority from Your Achievements is an easy trap to fall into. I worked hard and I got published. You haven’t been published, so that means you haven’t worked hard. What worked for you is dependent upon timing and your circumstances. If other writers are doing things differently, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re doing them wrong.

Share what you’ve learned. (Without mansplaining). One of the best ways to learn a subject is to explain it to someone else.

If you’re in a critique group, be kind with your feedback. Avoid the temptation to make grandiose statements that you think make you sound clever. Worst. Story. Ever kind of comments. That doesn’t mean you have to be dishonest in your praise, but avoid being cruel.

Go to your friends’ book launches. Buy your friends cake to celebrate their success.

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